Anyone who has been in a relationship with a woman with traits of BPD can tell you she does not start out by mistreating her partner.In most romantic relationships, women with traits of BPD move through an initial phase of idealization.Just like women with traits of BPD, these men seem to share similar character traits.

Convinced she is a nice girl at heart he will be blinded to the fact that although reason and logic work for nice-guy and nice girl-types, they are nowhere near powerful enough to get through the defenses of a person who lacks his trusting nature.

In order for the nice-guy type to free himself from the illusion that he could bring back the idealization phase of his relationship, he must find a way to accept that his initial assessment of this woman was wrong.

But because the idealization phase of BPD relationships creates the illusion that he is with a kindred spirit, the nice guy will naturally assume she is as trustworthy as he is, causing him to throw caution to the wind.

And by the time she transitions out of her idealization phase and into her devaluation phase, he is usually deeply in love with her.

And it is this unique dynamic that can initially attract the nice guy and subsequently lock him into an unhealthy relationship often despite his better judgment.

We often think of women with traits of BPD as having personality traits that cause them to have an unrealistic perspective on human nature.

But the nice-guy type has the opposite bias when it comes to human nature.

His character traits lead him to believe that people are nicer or more trustworthy than they really are.

The nice-guy type is a somewhat common cluster of personality traits that is present in both men and women.

This cluster is very beneficial to those that possess it, particularly in regard to their romantic relationships.

If he were not in love he may have been able to realize he was wrong about her ability to treat him well.