My answer to you is largely the same as my answer to her. If you don’t go out with him because you intimate that you’re “above” him on the dating food chain, it’s predictable that he might lash out at you. It’s not that he’s a few pounds overweight, it’s that he’s obese. Your choice of words, however, makes you come like a stiff snob.

You may be technically correct that he’s not of your social station, but that’s of no concern to the man you’ve just insulted to his face. All of your examples are extreme, but not all men are extreme examples of anything. What I am saying – and what these men are inartfully suggesting as well – is that you don’t marry a list of traits. And if you never think outside the box, you may well find yourself standing alone at the end of the dance. Being viewed (judged) like that is the reason why many men will not even go near a woman who earns even a little bit more than he does.

Fiona, It doesn’t matter how many men think like this. But I would be remiss if I didn’t pull out the nugget of wisdom from the flawed logic of the laundry operator.

speed dating scorecard-62

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I mean, remember when Elizabeth Grey brought a gun — and a thirst for cold vodka — to Karen’s house (and wound up killing her sexy-but-creepy-but-still-sexy son in the process)?

Literally, the ONLY thing he can do when you tell him that you have nothing in common (without getting to know him) is tell you that you’re wrong for judging people and that this attitude may come back to haunt you. So, to be crystal clear: no one (besides the fat, stupid and elderly) is saying that you have to date the fat, stupid, or elderly. The reason that I call this a blind spot for women is because women tend to adhere more to their checklists, which usually call for a man who is just like you, but better.

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I am just wondering how many other men think like this?

For me, it seems plain common sense that, while professional women with masters degrees may be compatible with men in less successful professions, the guy that left school with no qualifications to work in the launderette is highly unlikely to be a good fit.

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