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Among those who forgot this pesky chore is Obama's nominee for Treasury secretary, Timothy Geithner, who sheepishly admits that he failed to pay ,000 in federal self-employment taxes.
The judges award Taylor 453 points out of a possible 30, citing his ``energy'' and ``proximity.''Abroad, North Korea, in what many observers view as a deliberate act of provocation, calls Domino's and, posing as the United States, orders 23 million pizzas delivered to Japan.
GM is now essentially a subsidiary of the federal government, which promises to use its legendary business and marketing savvy to get the crippled auto giant back on its feet, starting with an exciting new lineup of cars such as the Chevrolet Consensus, a ``green'' car featuring a compressed-soybean chassis, the world's first engine powered entirely by dew, and a 14,500-page owner's manual, accompanied by nearly 6,000 pages of amendments.
In other international bad news, North Korea launches a test missile that experts say is capable of hitting Hawaii, based on the fact that it actually hits Hawaii.
But before we do, let's swallow our anti-nausea medication and take one last look back, starting with. In entertainment news, an unemployed California mother of six uses in-vitro fertilization to give birth to eight more children, an achievement that immediately catapults her to a celebrity status equivalent to that of a minor Kardashian sister. General Motors, which has sold only one car in the past year -- a Buick La Crosse mistakenly purchased by an 87-year-old man who thought he was buying a power scooter -- announces a new four-part business plan, consisting of (1) dealership closings; (2) factory shutdowns;(3) worker layoffs; and (4) traveling backward through time to 1955.
But even this joyous event is not enough to cheer up a nation worried about the worsening economy, which becomes so badin . The stock market hits its lowest level since 1997; this is hailed as a great investment opportunity by all the financial wizards who failed to let us know last year that the market was going to tank.
Olympics Before returning to the United States, Dave Barry reminisces about the sites and sounds of the first week of the Olympics and answers the age-old question of why Americans stink at badminton.
Dave Barry Gift Guide The challenge, in this hectic season, is always to find enough unnecessary things for all the people on our gift list.
Dave Barry TODAY'S ETIQUETTE TOPIC IS: Proper Table (burp) Manners.
I have here a letter from Jean Gerdes, who teaches Family and Consumer Science to sixth-graders at the Donegal Middle School in Marietta, Pa.
C., where a crowd estimated by the Congressional Estimating Office at 217 billion people gathers to watch Barack Obama be inaugurated as the first American president ever to come after George W.
There is a minor glitch in the ceremony when Chief Justice John Roberts, attempting to administer the oath of office, becomes confused and instead reads the side-effect warnings for his decongestant pills, causing the new president to swear that he will consult his physician if he experiences a sudden loss of sensation in his feet.
Open tennis tournament, which is a big tennis event in New York City, which by the way has gotten much nicer.