But substances and alcohol are not the resources to call upon.

dating the past-66dating the past-59

For many of us, intimate relationships feel incredibly challenging.

We all have our own unique past, and sometimes it’s confusing to know when to share dark parts of our history with our partner.

In looking at the experiences of others, what we can say is that many who have formed romantic partnerships with former substance abusers have come to regret that decision immensely, while others have been able to establish satisfying permanent relationships with those who have successfully put their past addictions behind them.

So there really is no hard and fast rule here – but there are some things you should think about before getting more deeply involved with someone in recovery.

In a nutshell they makes us more emotional and less rational.

Let a friend, your therapist, or any trusted person know when you plan to share this information with your partner.

It’s important to recognize that there’s nothing wrong with talking about your past because it’s part of what deepens intimacy in a relationship.

Sharing our past with our partner can be incredibly healing. Am I being manipulative in that I hope this newfound knowledge will quietly coerce them into changing their position or even their behavior/character?

But, there are also aspects to consider before sharing your traumatic past with your partner. No matter what your answers are to these questions try not to be judgmental or critical of yourself.